if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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