my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Is that strawberry winking at me??
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
