Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
This house was built for laser tag.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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