if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
