I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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