The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
