I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
