if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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