dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
