i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize