I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
