whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
