he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
