no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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