i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
