i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
