Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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