I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
