So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
