I wish I could punch you in the face.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Randomize
