Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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