I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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