Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The struggles of a small town man whore
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
