I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
