apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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