i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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