i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
