I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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