wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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