I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
