She's like a pop up book from hell.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
