Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
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The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Your penis caused this!
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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