some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
well, you know. whores of a feather.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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