Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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