Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
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