I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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