i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
