kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
we're making bets on your personal life
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
