hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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