Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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