I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Randomize
