you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Please, let me fuck your mom
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Randomize
