Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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