Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I wish you could order shots online.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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