i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
