I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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