no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i drank out of a bidet.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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