It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
The power of my boobs compel you
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
