jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
