I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
my liver is dry heaving
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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