It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
