Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
