why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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