i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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