I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
someone owes me an orgasm
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
