he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
