In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
