Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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