absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
