she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
