She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
