You made me cry and you don't even care
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
