then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
