He disabled his match.com account in front of me
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
worst night to have a conscience
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
