i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
